Rejection can cause so much emotional pain to many people. I remember a
while ago in the UK, a young Nigerian lady jumped off a balcony and killed
herself because of a boyfriend. That was very extreme but she was probably suffering from some kind of rejection. Everyone has been
rejected at one point of their life but it doesn’t have to be the end of the
world. I want to share a few tips on coping that may help you deal with
rejection.
Grieve
The Loss
Sometimes rejection can be as painful as death. The difference
is that the person who may have rejected you is still alive. The fastest way to
get over the rejection is the admit it for what it is, have a period of
grieving, let go and then bury the memories.
Ayo suffered rejection. She was in a very popular clique
at university but suddenly one of the members of the clique decided that Ayo’s
time was up and kicked her out of the group. Ayo was distraught especially as
she didn’t know what caused the rejection. There was no explanation
and she was just told to leave. What made it even more difficult was that as soon as
she was kicked out, all the other members
of the clique stopped speaking to her too. Ayo felt all alone. She cried for
weeks.
A friend of hers who was not part of the clique came to
the rescue and allowed Ayo to pour out all her feelings of the rejection to her. Her
friend made her realise that she didn’t have to live for the clique and life had so
much more to offer her.
Learn The Lessons
One important lesson that Ayo gained from being rejected
from this clique was not to put all her eggs in one basket. She had made the
clique her world and had hardly spoken to anyone else in the university. She
had to start again by widening her network and being open to making new
friends. She also realised that her own company was good enough for her,
sometimes.
Don’t Blame Yourself
Ayo spent weeks blaming herself for the rejection. She
was looking for reasons why she was kicked out but she couldn’t find any
and this made her more depressed. She didn’t realise that the rejection was not
about her. It never is. She didn’t realise that one of the members of the clique
had her own issues and Ayo was just a scape goat. It took a friend to
really sit down and explain that to Ayo before she stopped blaming herself.
Focus On Your Strengths
Once Ayo believed that she wasn’t to blame for being
rejected, she was able to move on and
bury the experience. She focused on doing very well at university and building
a larger community of friends. She graduated from the university with a first
class in Mathematics and is doing very well with her life.
Summary
Rejection in life is inevitable. Everybody will face it
at some point but do not take it personally. When rejection comes, just say ‘oh
well’ next and move on quickly. You are a valuable girl and you deserve the
best.
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