HOW TO BE A BETTER FRIEND

The other day I was meditating on a scripture which says ‘A friend loves at all times’. It made me really start analysing that quote. I wondered if a friend who doesn’t love at all times, was never a friend in the first place. I even went on social media to get responses from my contacts and the exchange was interesting.

On my journey, I realised that a lot of people are in pain because of friendship breakdowns, unmet expectations, disappointments and hurts. On facebook, there is always one post or another about what a friend did and or did not do. One almost wonders if we put too much pressure on friendships. I realised that the only person you can fix is yourself. So here are my tips on being a better friend and I am speaking to myself too as I write because let’s face it , it so easy to point the finger at others.

Accept

The minute you start to try to change someone’s core personality, you will find the beginning of problems in that friendship. The friendships that last the longest are those that are accepting of each other.  We have to accept each other's strengths and  weaknesses. Obviously if someone is doing something intentionally to hurt you, you must address it, but if it’s a personality flaw, you just have to accept it or move on.

Acknowledge

There is a human need to be needed. Everyone needs to feel they are needed. To deliberately ignore a friend is to send a message to the person that you don’t value them. It is quite spiteful to do that to someone you consider a friend. And sooner or later the friend will drop you so fast. It doesn’t matter who calls who first, but do make an attempt to acknowledge someone you call a friend because friendships need to be watered.

Appreciate

Everyone loves to be appreciated. When we appreciate others, we show them that we value them and that their friendship means a lot to us. How can we appreciate others? We can just tell them that we appreciate them. We can do something for them that we know they will love. Nobody likes to be taken for granted, so if there’s one good friend that you haven’t appreciated recently, why don’t you start by telling them you appreciate them.

Assure

Another way to be a better friend is to assure a friend. We do this by keeping to our word and promise. We don’t disappoint. They can trust us in all seasons of life that we will be there for them. 

Affirm

To affirm means to state or confirm. If you truly love a friend you wont play mind games, so if you see that they are doing well, why not affirm them by saying, ‘ I think you did a great job’. You don’t do so because you are forced to, but just because you love them.

The busyness of life can make us self focused but with a little effort we can be a better friend.