DONT HIDE YOUR PAIN

We don’t normally share stories from Raising Confident Girls group, it’s a private group for women but because this story may help others and it’s anonymous, the author has given me permission to share as she said, it may bring healing to other girls. This is her story. 

MY NIGHTMARE

I am from a family of six, three boys and three girls. My parents always loved and cared for us so much. When I was eight my dad took me and my youngest brother who was five to his godfather's (his baptismal father)house. Two nights later I was asleep on the couch with my youngest brother from watching cartoons, he came and took me into his room at first I thought he was taking me into the room to lay me on my bed (like me dad always do). Little did I know that he was taking me into his room to defile me. While defiling me he used his hands to cover my mouth from screaming. This man has a daughter almost my age and another the same age with my brother. His wife travelled to the village to see her people. After defiling me he told me that if I say a word to my parents that he will kill them all. I was in so much pain I was scared to urinate, after the break I came home unlike me again.

BEHAVIOUR CHANGED

I was always fighting with my brothers. I hated my parents for taking us to his house. My stubbornness made my dad angry with me. He took me to stay in my uncle's house
I had a very difficult time relating with the opposite sex. All confidence vanished. I don't participate in classwork, I had no female friends or male friends. In my uncle's house I was treated bad but I never complained. It was better than going home and seeing my parents. I grew far from my siblings. I was caned like a thief with bruises all over my body. I was beaten with a knife, wooden pallet use in turning garri, stoned at with iron spoon but i never complained it was better than going home I said to myself.

MORE CHALLENGES

When I got to my SS3, I met a guy. He was my best friend and on January 2008 he got me pregnant. I hid the pregnancy for five months till my aunt found me out. I got the beating of my life from my uncle. My father came and told me to my face that he wants nothing to do with me. My mum never called to talk to me. She never wanted anything to do with me. My uncle and his wife treated me like a rejected child. On August 22 I bore a son who died prematurely the next day due to lack of attention from the hospital staff.

ADVICE TO PARENTS

Parents should learn from my misfortune. When a child is always angry don't send them away. Have faith in them till you are able to communicate with them again. Be careful about who you give your child to. They might help you in destroying the child's life more.

My guardians were happy the baby died and shipped me to my parents.

LIFE IS CHANGING

That same year I wrote my waec, neco, jamb & postume. That same year I got admission to study masscom in unn. I changed my course to theatre and film studies. From my eight years of age till now am 23 years old I lost confidence and hope in life. I can't find myself no more. Am lost in pain, I dont visit my family and when I do I fight a lot with them and I don't stay more than one week at home.

ROAD TO VICTORY

I have been reading all the posts on Raising Confident Girls group page and it has really helped me deal with so many communication problems and it's is helping to build up my confidence as a woman and also precious being.

I keep telling myself that I AM GOLD, no matter what other people preferred me to be I will always remain GOLD.

EDITOR'S COMMENTS

This story broke my heart but God can change any situation. The young lady is on the road to healing and has been put in touch with other women who have been through this terrible ordeal. Please keep her in your prayers for complete healing.