DON'T BE OBSESSED WITH YOURSELF

With the advent of social media many girls have become obsessed with themselves.  I don’t believe this to be healthy. I want girls to feel valuable and love themselves but I do not want them to be obsessed. How does a girl know if she is obsessed with herself? The following points are the warning signs

Getting Depressed

Some girls have actually confessed that they get depressed if they don’t have a lot of followers on social media, especially on Instagram or Twitter. They get obsessed with whose liking them and who’s not. They have to remember that a lot of the people following them are not real friends and are just peeping into their lives. They should concentrate their efforts on real friendships.

Excessive Posting on Social Media

Now this is crazy and I don’t know why some people don’t edit their photos but if you are posting up to 20 photos of yourself on social media in the same position then you are definitely obsessed with yourself.

Checking Your Phone Constantly For Comments

Another way you can tell if you are becoming obsessed with yourself is if you are constantly checking your phone for comments. This can be such a distraction on your real life. Don’t always assume that the comments people make are genuine. Don’t believe the hype.  Sometimes people make comments when they are bored.

Not Interested In Others

If you find that you never ask other people how they are doing and you always talk about yourself, then you are probably obsessed. The fastest way to lose friends is to be self absorbed. This happened to Tolu. She started a new school and everybody avoided her. Why? Because she was always talking about herself and her life and never asking others how they are doing.  

Moaning & Complaining

When you find yourself complaining over minor things then you are also obsessed in yourself. So you woke up with a small pimple and you suddenly feel depressed. You added a pound and you want the whole world to feel sorry for you.  Try one day not to speak about yourself too much and see how you can reach out to others.

The Bright Side

We all have moments when we can get slightly self absorbed but when you feel this happening all the time, step back and stop. Love yourself, yes. Look after yourself, yes, but reaching out to help others is a better gift to the world than being self obsessed with oneself.

VALUABLE BODY

Her Valuable Body

It is every mother’s wish to raise a girl that loves herself and values her body. She only has one body, so she must take time to look after it and care for it. Her body is not for sale and she should never abuse it. These are just a few suggestions on how she should value her body.

Eat The Right Food

Teach her early to form the habit of eating the right foods. Certain foods are really good for her. Fruits and vegetables are excellent and full of natural nutrients.  Foods that contain alkaline are good for her and will make her skin glow and look healthy. Examples include almonds, avocado, carrots, coconut, spinach etc. Tell your daughter about the consequences of being overweight and not eating healthy food and lead by example.

Exercise For Life

Obesity is on the increase, even in Nigeria. Make sure your daughter gets into the habit of exercising early. If she starts young, it will become a good habit of a lifetime.   Don’t encourage her to sit at home all day long watching TV or playing computer games. Give her chores and make sure she moves around frequently. Let her find a sport that she enjoys like swimming or dancing. Walking is also great exercise which you can both do together.

Hygiene

As she grows older, her body will change and go through different stages, so mothers need to discuss hygiene and tips on looking after their body and smelling fresh. Girls need to learn that cleaning the genital area with mild soap and water on a regular basis will help limit bacterial infection.

Keep Her Body Pure

It’s hard to have these conversations, but as a mother of a 14 year old girl, I know that there is an urgency to keep girls on the straight route. There is a time for everything under the sun. As early as possible, mothers should teach their daughters about chastity and waiting for the right season to indulge in adult behaviour.  Talk to her about consequences of inappropriate behaviour including early pregnancy and STD . Also discuss morals and issues such as adultery and the pain it leads to. 

We can’t sweep these issues under the carpet, lets have these conversations with our girls and sow a good seed for their future. 

THIS IS THE TRUTH

MEAN GIRLS AND HOW TO HANDLE THEM

If you have seen the film Mean Girls an American teen film, you may be able to relate to some of the characters. Mean girls do exist but you can find ways to handle them and not allow them to make you feel bad about yourself. The following tips will help you spot a Mean Girl and handle her behaviour.

Disguised As Friends

A Mean Girl may pretend to be your friend just to find out your weaknesses. A mean girl will find a way of putting you down. If you confront her, she may accuse you of being over sensitive. She tends to criticise you a lot and give you a 100 reasons why you cant do something. She is a mean girl and you need to keep away from you. Suzzy had this problem with Chizor. Chizor was always criticising Suzzy, especially amongst other friends. Suzzy got fed up of all the criticisms and abandoned the friendship.

Mean Girls Are Bullies

A mean girl is usually a bully and the ring leader of her clique. If she laughs at you, then all her friends will laugh too. Do not be imitated by her. Stand up for yourself and tell her directly that she is making a fool of herself. When you speak up to a mean girl, she will leave you and look out for someone else to bully. Yinka was not putting up with Jada’s put downs. She told Jada straight up that if she said another bad word to her, she would not tolerate it. Jada cooled down.

Knock You Off Stage

A mean girl doesn’t like anyone else to be the centre of attention, so if you stand out, she wont like you. You might try to befriend her but if you pose any sign of a threat then you will not be welcomed. If she is used to receiving a lot of attention, she cant stand it when someone else comes in and shows some light. This happened to Kelechi. She started a new school and she suddenly found that she was disliked by a particular popular girl. Apparently the girl was the best at drama until Kelechi came along and knocked her off the spotlight. Don’t take it personally. Avoid mean girls at all costs and just keep shining.

Why Are They Mean?

Some girls are just jealous. It is as simple as that. They are not content with themselves so they look for someone else to attack. You cannot do anything about another girl’s jealously. Just avoid her.

Mean Girls Are A Fact Of Life

There are just some people in the world that will not like you no matter what you do and this includes mean girls. Maybe there is a side of your personality that they secretly admire but they don’t know how to admit it, so they despise you.

So now you know, live your life to the best you can and avoid the mean girls.

20 Valuable Affirmations for 2015

Every girl should make valuable assertive affirmations for 2015. Here are a few that will assist her.

• I speak up for myself
• I have my own opinions and convictions
• I never put myself down
• I know my value
• I am not a push over
• I do not compare myself with others
• I am only in competition with myself
• I see the good in myself and others
• I am happy with who I am
• I am responsible for my own life
• I am not a victim
• If there are things that I am not happy with I make the changes
• I don’t envy other girls
• I don’t put other girls down to make myself happy
• I compliment others freely
• I live my life in peace
• I make bold choices
• I don’t hold back
• I accept feedback
• I don’t accept rejection as a negative
• Rejection always opens the door to something great
• I focus on my strengths
• I love myself just as God made me
• I am humble
• I am valuable

ARE WEARING YOUR CONFIDENCE ACCESSORY?

First of its kind, Raising Confident Girls event was hailed a success!

A few days before Christmas a selection of young girls from different parts of Lagos were invited to attend the very first Raising Confident Girls Christmas Tea party. 

The event was a CSR initiative by Majestically Rare Events & Publicity. The girls didn’t know what to expect but were promised that they would have fun and learn some nuggets of wisdom.

The first surprise was the red carpet photo shoot experience. On arrival, each girl struck a pose on the red carpet. A selection of girls were interviewed and asked about their expectations of the event. The girls said they were excited and eager to find out what was on offer.

With a hall full of girls aged mostly 11 to 14, it was important for them to get to know themselves. The icebreaker was led by Mrs Chinyere Anokwuru, author of ‘Who Says I Cant? She is a speaker and Senior Special Assistant to Lagos state government. She was the facilitator/compere of the occasion.

The girls had fun getting to know themselves with a competitive game. And the winners were awarded with gifts, courtesy of the Party Shop.

Guest speaker, Mrs Stephany Nwanmah founder of Tehla Women Youth Empowerment Foundation, spoke passionately to the girls. She encouraged them to beware of their bodies and their uniqueness. She also told the girls not to be in a hurry to grow up as they have their life ahead of them.

Saxman Emmunel took time out of his busy schedule to give the girls a melody on the Saxs.

The girls got a taste of the Catwalk and demonstrated that no matter what brands they are wearing, they make the clothes stand out by their confidence and the way they carry themselves. The clothes don’t make them. Confidence is from within. The Mothers at the event also got a chance to perform on the Catwalk but the jury is out.  The girls stole the show.

Mrs Rita Okoye, the CEO of Majestically Rare and the founder of Raising Confident Girls initiative took the girls through her own journey and shared her struggles to find her inner confidence in a predominately white world, where she grew up in England, as a young girl. She said it took quite a journey to get to the point of believing in herself and her self worth.

She told the girls that being outwardly bold does not mean that you have it all together. Some people are just good public speakers or are just good actors. What is more important is inner confidence, which can only come from inside of YOU and your ability to stay strong in your unshakeable truth.

Mrs Rita Okoye said, "It was important for the girls to recite what they were being taught". They chanted affirmations like, “I am somebody”. “I am valuable”. Research shows that regular chanting of affirmations helps build one’s self esteem.

A Harvard first year student by the name of Feyifolu Edun was a guest speaker. She encouraged the girls to not have restrictions on themselves and to do their best.  Many of the girls had questions for her and soon discovered that hard works pays.

The event ended with the cutting of the cake. The cake was cut in honour of the Valuable You blog and dedicated to all the girls in the hall and across the world to say that they were indeed valuable. The girls and their mothers were given refreshments, goodie bags from Design Essentials, TeekyRazzi Magazines and there was music from DJ Henry.

The feedback was awesome. Mrs Taiye Aluko said that her daughters loved the event.  Another mother Mrs Jovita Agwu said her daughter refused to go when she came to pick her up and cant wait for the next program. Many mothers commended the event and said it was a great initiative for their girls.

Majestically Rare would like to take this opportunity to thank all our sponsors. Tweeky Arena and Events Place, Laura Gardens Decorators, Saxman Emmanuel, Bash Photos, Design Essentials Professional Hair care products and The Party Shop. The CEO of Majestically Rare, Rita Okoye says that there are plans to hold quarterly events for Girls. There is also a planned Mother and Daughter bonding event coming up soon. Watch out for details.

For enquiries or to put your daughter’s name on the waiting list for next event please contact info@majesticallyrare.com with heading Raising Confident Girls.

Click link below for photos of the event
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.920567677961701.1073741833.239500406068435&type=3

BECOME ASSERTIVE IN 2015

Assertiveness is based on balance. It requires being forthright about your wants and needs while still considering the rights, needs, and wants of others. When you are assertive, you ask for what you want but you don't necessarily get it. But at least you know you have the right to ask.

What is Aggressive behaviour?

Aggressive behaviour on the other hand is based on winning. It requires that you do what is in your own best interest without regard for the rights, needs, feelings or desires of others. When you are aggressive, you take what you want regardless, and you don't usually ask. This is not behaviour to emulate.

Benefits of Being Assertive

Assertive people are better problem solvers. They feel empowered to do whatever it takes to find the best solution. They are less stressed. They know they have personal power and they don't feel threatened or victimized when things don't go as planned or expected. Assertive people are doers. They get things done because they know they can.  Ijeoma was a very assertive girl. She was the prefect of her class. She showed great leadership to her classmates without being a bully.

Improving Assertiveness

In order to improve assertive behaviour, you have to value yourself and know that you have rights. You also need to understand that your rights, thoughts, feelings, needs and desires are just as important as everyone else's. But remember they are not more important than anyone else's, either.

Recognise your rights and protect them. So if you are spoken to or touched inappropriately, you have the right to speak up. Believe you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times. Stop apologizing for everything.

Needs and Wants

Identify your needs and wants, and ask for them to be satisfied. Don't wait for someone to recognize what you need (you might wait forever!)Understand that to perform to your full potential, your needs must be met. Find ways to get your needs met without sacrificing others' needs in the process. Acknowledge that people are responsible for their own behaviour.

Other People’s Behaviour

Don't make the mistake of accepting responsibility for the how people react to your assertive statements (e.g. anger, resentment). You can only control yourself.  Hadiza was a shy girl but during the holidays she met a new friend who showed her how to become more confident and assertive. When she resumed school, some of her friends were not comfortable with the new and improved Hadiza and stopped speaking to her. She didn’t bother with their behaviour and knew that she was not going back to her passive ways.

As long as you are not violating someone else's needs, then you have the right to say or do what you want.

Know Yourself

Learn to say "No" when you need to. Know your limits and what will cause you to feel taken advantage of. Know that you can't do everything or please everyone and learn to be OK with that. Learn to listen to your instincts and go with what is right for you. Suggest an alternative for a win-win solution. Learn to compromise on some matters as long as it doesn’t violate your human rights.