I will be honest with you. It’s not easy to forgive. It’s even harder when the person doesn’t seem in the least bit apologetic, but we don’t forgive just for them, we forgive for ourselves. Unforgiveness can cause all sorts of problems including sickness and stress, so for the benefit of you, please forgive. The tips below may help you with your steps towards forgiving others.
Write It Down
When you go through betrayal or disappointment, it’s advisable to write everything down in a journal. You will be surprised at how light you feel if you write it down. You may even want to write a letter to the person that hurt you telling them how you feel. Often you may write a letter but not actually give it to the person. The reason for writing it down is just to get it off your chest.
Talk It Over
Forgiveness can be so difficult, especially if you felt betrayed by a person you really trusted. This happened to Jackie. Noca was her best friend. They went everywhere together. Where ever you saw Jackie, you saw Noca. Jackie confined in Noca about a family secret. Unfortunately Noca could not keep the secret to herself and eventually the whole class knew about the secret. Jackie was horrified and for years she kept it in and wouldn’t speak to anyone about how badly she was hurting. One day though she broke down and told her Aunty. She felt so betrayed but when her Aunty gave her advice and about how unforgiveness can cause illness, she was finally able to forgive Noca.
Let It Go
Once you have decided to forgive the person, let it go. Don’t talk about the incident again. The more you talk about it, the harder and longer it will take to heal. I know its easier said than done but trust me, don’t talk about it. It is best to bury it and let God deal with the situation.
Most of the time when you forgive a person, you may get back to being friends again but depending on what happened you may need a period of separation. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t want to have the same relationship as before. But make sure you are not bitter. You would normally have bitterness, if the mere mention of the person’s name makes you upset. You need to forgive.
Nobody Is Perfect
Everybody is going to disappoint us from time to time. It’s just the way human beings are wired. Sometimes you wont even get a good enough explanation. Don’t take the disappointment too personally or worry too much about what you have done or not done to cause the disappointment or betrayal. This will help you forgive quicker. Also know that you are not perfect and you are bound to need forgiveness. So forgive, so that others will forgive you too.
Forgiveness Is A Part Of Life
Recently, I had to forgive someone that really upset me. It was very difficult to do because the person was very rude. I didn’t tolerate the rudeness but the audacity of their behaviour surprised me.
But I realised that I didn’t really know what was going on in their life that made them behave that way. I was only seeing a snap shot. So I chose to forgive them and immediately I felt lighter.
Always forgive, for peace sake.
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