A lot of people go through life being defined by
what others say or think about them. If you go through life in such a manner
you will get tossed about and your self esteem will go up and down depending on
what others say or think about you.
Theresa was such a person. From a young age she
was always the centre of attention. I mean she had all the right physical
attributes that many admired her for. She was pretty, tall, had a lovely figure and
was constantly told she was physically gorgeous but after a while she craved
the compliments all the time. If her friends and family weren't telling her how
pretty she looked, she would fall into a bout of depression because that's what
she depended on for self esteem. It got worse as an adult; she went from
relationship to relationship seeking the man who would adore her for her looks.
When she couldn't get the attention, she resorted to food as an only way to
comfort her. Today she suffers from eating disorders and self esteem issues
because she wants others to constantly adore her.
Ngozi’s issues seemed different. She was the
brightest in her year. She won several trophies in mathematics and science. She
was super smart and her parents and those around her labelled her as the intelligent
child. She won awards based on her academic performance. You can image how her
confidence dropped when for no apparent reason she stopped winning all the
awards. She was no longer the brightest. New students joined the school and
surpassed her. Her parents stopped praising her because she was no longer their
pride and joy so she thought. With such low esteem, Ngozi stopped making any
effort and within a short time she became below average in class and went into
depression.
Now let's look at Temi. She represented her
State in all forms of sports from the age of 10. She was good at running,
tennis and swimming. She won trophies upon trophies. Her country and family
were very proud of her. This success carried on right to university until she
had an injury. She stopped playing sports and all the praises and applauds
stopped. Temi plugged into depression and wanted to end her life because she
felt no value unless she was winning trophies.
The above girls appeared to have different
issues but on close up they all craved approval based on how others defined
them and the applauses they received.
Who and what are you basing your confidence on?
If you put your confidence in people's comments, opinions, praises and
criticisms, you will get tossed about and your self esteem will be tossed.
Don't base your
confidence on how others define you, or on your looks, weight, academic
achievements, sports awards or job title, because as seen, all are subject to
change but ultimately base your confidence on the true Word of God that never
changes. SHALOM!
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