Tuesday, October 7, 2014

How to build a girl’s self esteem



Tell her often that you love her
Girls need a lot of validation from their parents or guardians to feel good about themselves. A girl feels special when she is told that she is loved. Don’t say mummy loves you. Tell her directly say, “I love you”.  Also tell your daughter why you love her. Do not focus on external qualities like beauty because beauty can fade, rather focus on her character. For example say, “I love you Hajara, because you are kind and always thoughtful towards others”.

Unconditional love
Also emphasize on the unconditional nature of your love. Tell her that you will always love her no matter what. So even if she does something that upsets you, it’s not her person that you are upset with, it is the action. If she does something wrong, never tell her that you do not love her.

Share her impact in the home
Everyone in your household is special whether it’s your son or daughter. Everyone wants to feel that they have contributed to something and made a positive impact in the home. If your daughter teaches you some new insights, thank her and let her know that it is appreciated. Shade didn’t have a clue how to navigate Instagram and her teenage daughter Temi came to the rescue and taught her mum everything about it. Shade now uses Instagram for business, thanks to her daughter.

Meet her on her level.
Don’t be the type of parent that keeps away from your daughter. She needs you their both physically and intellectually.  Be careful not to bombard her with too much adult jargon in the early stages of her development.  If in doubt, when you request something, ask her to repeat back what you requested to make sure she understands. Come down to earth and engage with her at her own level.

Encourage self care and nurturing
Teach her from early the importance of exercise and well being. Get her to value her sleep time, knowing that a good night’s sleep will improve performance the next day. Help her to know what foods are good for her and which are not. The earlier a girl learns to love her body and take care of it, the better self esteem she will have.

Quality time
The modern day parent is very busy but that does not mean you should not make out quality time with your daughters. Find parent and daughter activities that you can do together. For a mother, it’s never too early to take your daughter for a mini spa. For a father why not have a Father and daughter day and take her to watch a movie or to a restaurant. A girl really loves that individual attention.

Choose your words carefully
One of the reasons so many girls have low self esteem is because of some of the unkind words from their parents, who should know better.

Eliminate these Words
·        Can’t you do anything right?
·        You are lazy
·        Can’t you be like your sister?
·        You will never make it
·        You will be the death of me.
·        You are stupid

Increase these Words
·        I love you
·        You’re a winner
·        I am proud to be your mother
·        I trust you
·        What do you think?
·        You are the best



Be careful what you say to young girls knowing that Life and Death are in the power of the mouth.

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